Cell phones okay in flight? WTF?!!!

BTW, BTW = By the Way and WTF = What the FUCK?!!!

I think I heard this on NPR or somewhere, but apparently the FCC or some other stupid government organization is going to allow cell phones to be used in flight.

I'm not sure about you all, but when I get on a plane - I'm already pretty agitated. I've had to tricky parking, traffic, lines at the security counter, and rickety old airport chairs to get onto the plane. Not to mention the people who bud in front of you in the boarding line when their seat is way in teh front anyways.

When I get in my seat, and I'm strapped in, I just want to sleep. I want to close my eyes and relax for the next 2-6 hours. Although this is difficult with the crying baby in front of me, the toddler kicking my chair from behind, the old guy across the aisle hacking up a lung, and my neighbor leaning his fat onto me - I still try to anyways - because its all I can do to reduce my anxiety during flight.

Now, thanks to the brilliant minds in our government - anyone on the plane can place and recieve calls as they wish. Great. Now I get to hear about every fucking business deal and every harrowing gossip piece all flight long. What's worse, is that these people will talk even louder - out of the misplaced belief that they need to to overcome the airplane's droning.

Why did the FCC (or again, some strange flail fuck we call a government organization) allow this? They say that its time that the people had a choice. Have a choice? A recent poll said that 80% of passengers do NOT want this. There was no choice in this. The Flailfuck organiazation does not have the interest of the citizen in mind.

Its like Cuba Gooding yelled, "SHOW ME THE MONEY!!"

Businesses want this. They want their worker's productivity to be up during flights. They want the increased revenue of cell phone calls placced midair which you know will cost more than a Nike workers' yearly salary per call. The lobbyists were effective in changing the FCCs mind. How did they do so? With pure, wwell thought out logic? I doubt it. I'd like to see how much money the Flailfuck's government organization got during the time this change was brought about.

So how do we change it? I wish I could tell you. I'd like to say - write to your representative or some crap like that. But do you really think that one letter holds any weight against 100 bucks coming from lobbyists hands? In this day and age where the right thing depends on teh price - I don't think so.

A fundamental change must occur in teh American public's psyche to even effect any sort of people-first government - we must stop thinking with our wallets and thinking with our morals. That's far and few between - and frankly, I'm a little scared that its too late for us.

Boys Suck Part 2: You are a man aren't you?

Note: This is part 2 in a series of polarizingly analytical blogs about the state of the male dating pool for females at this time. As I mentioned in part 1 - no offense to the collective guy psyche, but I can't help it - too many examples of guy idiocy abound around me.

My wife can be quite emasculating at times. She is smart, independent, brutal, ruthless, and about 4x, er make that 10x, wealthier than I am. In short - she's Alexander the Great embodied in a great looking Asian woman body and face. She has a sweet smile and demeanor - but don't cross her - she'll steal food from your young. She drives a faster car than I do and for the most part, she makes the decisions in the house regarding finances, purchases, etc. A lot of times, I feel like I'm the clingy spouse who better hang on for dear life. Talk about role reversal. So it may be a little wierd for me to talk about being a man, but its like anything I say on this site - I pull most of it outta my ass anyways, so why not?

Despite my wife's strong independence and evil ambition, I still try to embody the old-fashioned principles of being a man and a gentleman. There's a difference between the two - but its important for a guy to embody both. Most times my attempts at this end up in a big flail-fuck. What's a flail fuck? Its worse than a fuckup. Because not only do you fuckup, you flail at it - which makes the fuckup extra pathetic. And nothing is worse than being pathetic. If your'e gonna fuckup - at least fuckup in grand style.

Still I try - which is more than I think many other men do. I'll elaborate more on what these principles are later, but right now I'd like to illustrate the problem in many men today.

I see 2 major deficits in guys these days. For one, a lot of men don't feel a sense of urgency in attaining a career and job that will help provide for their s.o. and their family in the future - they think of only themselves. Second, many men don't advocate for their girlfriends, wives, etc.

No urgency
These guys know who they are. They fall into 2 general classes for me. First are the ones that don't do shit. They have degrees, they're smart, but they can't bring themselves to either get a job or to motivate themselves to expand their career to increase their earning potential. They're just plain lazy. I mean, that's fine if they wanted to live all by their lonesome. Hell, if I was single and didn't want or need a woman - I'd just do whats enough to feed myself, bathe myself, clothe myself, and entertain myself (video games, Tv, music). For those guys that live this way - more power to you. But there's a problem if you want a woman in your life - I"ll explain later.

The second class is the ones that do shit - but only for themselves and no one else. They think their earnings are solely for themselves - noone else. If they are motivated by anything - its either greed or their mother. Again, I don't care if this is something they want to do on their own - but when they involve another person in their life - it can't be this way.

In both cases, I have seen too many guys who are either lazy or selfish complain about not having a woman. Herein lies the problem. Being a man means attempting to be a provider. I'm not saying that a man has to be the provider. I'm just saying - brother please, give it a try. Not only do you shore up your man status if you can try, you also make the woman feel like your bigger than your own basic wants and needs. You actually think outside the Xbox. You really do care about more than just about what you can afford next. If you're lazy or selfish - it should be no suprise to you if women are not knocking down your door. It means to women that you may not be able to protect them or your family in a time of need. That when the going gets rough - all you care about is your own hairy, lazy ass. That's not attractive by any stretch of the imagination (both the hairy ass part and the lazy part - unless there's some strange sexual fetish I'm not yet aware of).

Advocacy is not saying, "I got hoes in every area code."
Some men have a strange sense of advocacy. I think women like to be advocated for. They want a man to let others know about them and how great they are. Its not only a sign of appreciation by the man for the woman, its a sign of unselfishness - her strengths far outshine yours.

These days, men talk about their women to further their own agenda. For example, the hip hop crap that comes out these days is seriously eroding any sense of gentleman advocacy. The "real G" way of advocacy is to say that their hoes are "bangin" and can "roll the best weed." I'm down with women who are good looking and can provide me some pharmaceutical aid, but this is a new level of crassness. It smacks of selfishness. The hip hop "thugs" use advocacy to advance their own "pimp potential." Its like saying how much your cars cost - its not a reflection of the cars - its bragging about how playa you are.

Some men prefer not to advocate their women at all. They hide them away for reasons unbeknownst to me. If you truly love someone, shouldn't you want to show them to the world - or at least tell your family members about them? Not to belabor the women are like cars analogy, but I married my dream car and I'm going to let everyone know how wonderful that car is - how fast it goes, how good it looks, how it fits me better than bikini swimsuits on Kathy Ireland (old school hottie by the way). I mean, I'm not saying I go around and say, "Hi my name is so and so, my wife is the bomb - she is awesome." I'm just saying I wouldn't purposefully keep her away from anyone for any reason. I'm proud of who she is and goddamnit (sorry to my Christian readership) I'll proudly introduce her to the world.

Consequently, I get bothered when I see guys failing to introduce their girls to their friends, their family, or their coworkers. Why? Are they embarrassed? Are they afraid she will steal the spotlight? Are they afraid that their girl won't be accepted? All I can say is - WHO THE FUCK CARES? If you truly love a woman - you will always put her ahead of anyone. And advocating her to your family, friends, and your network of aliens means that you think about her more than anything else in your world. Be glad you can even have the opportunity to advocate - if you didn't have her, you might have to advocate your right and left hand - and noone wants that.

Alas, another lengthy blog is concluded. I've decided that long blogs go a long way to keepign the riffraff from raiding my site. I figure I can't offend people if they've fallen asleep. Time for me to go and attempt to be manly to my wife again! Note to self - I need to drop this whole, "can we cuddle" thing if I want to be even more manly. Hey, I never said that I was manly - I'm just trying!

Happy Holidays!

Not sure why I'm posting this, seeing as how I've already wished Happy Holidays to the 3 or 4 people that actually read my blog. But Happy Holidays nonetheless!

Which brings me to something a little un-pc. I'm a Buddhist. I grew up only knowing that Christmas was an excuse for gift giving. But hey, I loved the traditions - the tree, the days off, the holiday cheer, eggnog latte (ok - that's a recent heavy on the calories tradition for me), Charlie Brown christmas, etc. However, I am not and was not ever Christian. No knocking proper god-fearing folk, but I'm just into the pageantry and not really the basis of it.

Now, my wife told me that some people had issue with her workplace putting up a Christmas Tree. They felt it insulting to those who do not celebrate the day that signfies the birth of Christ. They feel that the workplace is no place to force upon the non-Christian workers the Christian beliefs of the owners. How dare they force upon the workers such an offensive and disrespectful sign of Christmas such as a tree.

I'm sorry, but I have to say it. What the FUCK people?!

Let me get this out of the way first (disclaimer for the sensitive folk who haven't seen me or know me - and think I'm some sort of redneck from the Ozarks): I love all people, no matter religion, ethnicity, class, sex, sexual orientation, etc. I just have an opinion that I don't think should be shaped by other people's anger or attempts at political correctness. And those who know me, know that I'm a proper "I think gays can marry Iraq was a mistake pro choice" liberal Asian-American.

But that doesn't mean I'm PC. I mean, I'm not a big fan of bible banging either - but there's nothing wrong with a Christmas tree. Its not like there's a huge statue of Jesus smiling down upon them as they walk into work. Its not like everyone has to kneel down and pray at a set time of the day. And its not like they have to yell "AMEN" after every sentence that the CEO says.

Its just a symbol of holiday cheer. There's nothing wrong with it. Its part of the thread of our culture - whether we like it or not. I grew up with a christmas tree which represented a time of year where people did good deeds, where giving was more important than taking, and when families got together to celebrate another year of good memories, no matter what misfortunes the year brought.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not a fan of evangelizing to the point of suffocation. But I argue that the creed of political correctness is more suffocating and more demoralizing to our culture and society than any symbol of holiday cheer. PCness makes people try to satisfy everyone - not only the majority but the minority as well. And as I've learned - when you try to please everyone, you please noone.

Don't mistake tolerance for sterilization.

So please, let me have my christmas tree - even though I believe that my kharma might lead me to be a Dung Beetle after I die. I love the this time of year - let me be in my un-pc eggnog stupor.

The Internet Breeds Self Centered People

Yo Bus dis' (ebonics translator enabled)

The internet(s) [depending on if you are from the other country known as the Red States or not] is overall a great place. Where else can you shop for rare CD's, jewelery for your s.o., and browse porn all at the same time. Well at least you can in the confines of your home and not work.

Are there negatives to this excuse for laziness we call the World Wide Web? There are many. But one that becomes nails-on-chalkboard painfully obvious is self-centered people.

We all know who they are.

They're the ones who never talk to you just to say, "Hello." Speaking of which, that song is incredibly self-centered- "Hello, is it me you're looking for?" You think, Lionel cares about this woman he's singing too? No, he just wants to know that he is the center of her world.... but I digress.

When they do contact you, its usually with a specific self-centered reason in mind.

Self-centered one: "Sup man!"
Me: "HEEEEYYYY... what's go...."
Self-centered one: "Cool. Hey can you hook me up with some..."

Oh yeah, and then there's the self-centered people who listen intently - but dont' say anything - because they're really just waiting for a nice lull in your talk to jump in with their true agenda. These are the sneakiest ones.

Normally - on the street - face-to-face conversation forces some measure of interest by the other party. Mostly this is due to the simple presence of the other person, which reinforces that there is a human being behind the voice. Also, its partly because there are time limits on conversations in real life. You can't say a sentence, walk away to do something and come back and continue the conversation without pissing off the other person.

On the internet(s), its different. The internet(s) itself breeds selfishness and isolationism - which is why it works so well for the porn industry. I mean, lets face it, its much easier for someone to get porn via the internet than to actually have to rent it out and, god forbid, make eye contact with the clerks as you rent out the latest Kobe Tai flick. SHAME ON YOU SON FOR PAYING FOR PORN IN AN ADULT VIDEO STORE. (Imagine the voice of God saying that - I can't seem to get the pitch and tone of God's voice quite right yet - I'm a God Voice Noob)

Everything online is catered to appeal to the selfish, immediate gratification needy technonarcicist of today. You can buy and read anything at anytime anywhere. IM allows you to have conversations that run throughout your workday - without really having said anything. Bulletin boards or forums allow you to post your thoughts on things that vary from cars to farm animals without fear of any social backlash - because nobody knows who you are, where you live, what you look like, and what type of weed you smoke. Well okay, maybe we can tell what type of weed you smoke.

The problem is that this selfishness and self centered philosophy spills over into their regular behavior. Save a few internet friends I've met, the rest of them want purely to talk about themselves at all times. IM becomes a form of self-propaganda, like they're trying to prove something to you, or a tablet for venting, like they think all you care about is to listen to them whine.

Maybe its good they just see a white scren with letters, cause if they were saying these things to me face to face, I'd probably make a too-sour-i'm constipated-something smells funny-mad at another four years of bush grimace. And that would end the conversation. But because they don't see that - they keep going on and on and on and on. Its like somebody gave them viagra for their keyboard.

For the most part, I don't mind. But once in awhile, it'd be nice if these people would return the favor. Maybe I ask too much of people, but then again, why should I lower my expectations? In addition, I know that once in awhile, I can fall prey to the same "me me me" attitude that plagues the online population. But I like to think that I'm largely immune to that - but then again, I write a blog - so maybe I'm just being hypocritical. SHEEEEEIIIIIT.

Boys Suck Part 1: Beggars Can't be Choosers

I was talking to my good friend Tammy, aka TCell aka TLish aka Tamdelicious aka TamFurious aka etc., and I asked her why she had yet to find a good man. Her answer was, very simply, "Boys suck!"

Now, I love being a guy. I'm a guy's guy. I love sports, I love action movies, I adhere to basic guy rules (for example - no two guys can enter the bathroom at the same time), and I don't shy away from appreciating good lookign women. I feel like I've earned a spot in the universally recognized, but often misunderstood, guys fraternity.

That clarification aside, I do have to say that I'm highly disappointed in some of the members of the guy fraternity. Talking to some good female friends of mine has made this fact as clear as Aquafina. In fact, some men do suck - and they suck harder than a broke Jenna Jameson (I think I've used that a time too many). Just within the past few months, I've seen more examples of physically normal but emotionally impotent men than can be attributed to coincidence. In the following series of blots, I'll demonstrate some acts of guy retardedness and I'll hopefully try to explain how it happens - although that is no way condoning male idiocy.

Parts 1-3 will refer to things that bother me about single guys my age. Part 4 will discuss why this came to be. Part 5-7 will refer to how guys can correct their problems to counter this seemingly decided fate.

Part One - Particular Guys
For one, some guys are so unrealistically particular, its painful. I can point out about 1000 women to a single guy and particular guys will find maybe 10 will fit their bill. Of those ten maybe's, only 2 actually seem to not annoy them. Of those 2, usually none satisfy their ridiculously high standards. Guys, there's only one Charlize Theron, only one Eva Longoria, only one Catherine Zeta-Jones, and only one Angelina Jolie. Even then, you can't guarantee that they'll have a matching personality.

Trying to understand it is hard, so lets look more deeply at the "particular" part of the unbalanced equation that is a man's emotion first. To illustrate the ridiculousness of this all - I'd like to setup a fairly unrealistic situation. Imagine that when a man hits 18, he is given all the money in the world. This represents a man's youthfulness and good looks. Imagine that his debt represents his personality baggage. Personality baggage being annoyances, obsessive habits, hygienic inconsistencies, or grooming irregularities that have accumulated throughout time. The baggage gets bigger with each year.

Now picture women as cars (no I'm not objectifying - I'm just trying to make up for the abstract limitations of my concrete and car crazy thoughts). The right car for each man is difficult to define. Some like big cars, some like small. Some like black, some like red. Some like big headlights, some like standout mufflers. There are all sorts of sizes and shapes and colors to choose from.

Most guys know that they only have a certain amount of money to spend, before the debt catches up with them and thus decreases the chance that they'll get a car they want. Lets just say that there are three cars - a Yugo, an Porsche 911, and a Ferrari Enzo. The Yugo is just not right - no match for anyone. The Porsche 911 fits the bill for many people - great looking, practical, well regarded and reliable. The Enzo is a wet dream - super sexy, super fast, but impractcal and highly expensive.

Most normal men at mid 20's choose the Porsche - understanding that there are some negative aspects of the car and that in a few years there maybe something with better features - but knowing that if they waited longer - they would lose their money (their looks and youthfullness) and gain debt (their emotional/personality baggage), and thus not be able to afford the same nice, perfect fit car later. They don't go for the Enzo because they know that its great eye candy, but its rare and there's also no guarantee it will work for long at all.

Unrealistically particular guys always think that there is something around the corner. So they wait. And they wait. They're in their mid to late 20s and they pass on the Porsche, thinking that if they hold out, they'll be lucky enough to get the Enzo. Pretty soon,they have no money (looks and youthfullness) and they have a TON of debt. Lo and behold - they can't even get the damn Porsche when they've realized that no matter what they do, that Enzo is out of reach. So now they have to go and try to scrounge up their wealth for a Yugo. And they should feel lucky they can get a Yugo in their 40s.

It works out the same way with women for these guys. They pass up the good stuff in the hopes that they can get better - without even realizing that they may not deserve it or that their may not even be any better. Their biggest mistake will never be accepting an opportunity and failing at it, their biggest mistake is not even giving that opportunity a chance at all.

To be continued....

Happy BDay to Evil Puppetmaster!

What? It's already 30 minutes past midnight? I hope you enjoyed your birthday after you got home from work. I'm sorry you had a bad day at work. So what are you going to do now that you turned 22?

The Modern Town Halls

Sorry that I went so long without a post - I was still somewhat depressed with Dubya. I was also very busy with other things but I'm making excuses now, and if I started making too many excuses - I'd be a politician. So lets have out with it - I'm a LAZY ASS.

That being said....

People ask me why I spend so much time on the internet. They do notice how I spend up to an hour or two each day looking at various websites and forums, all the while getting mad, sad, or glad about something I've read or seen. A few people even asked if I had a social life outside of the web or do I really think that I'll gain any sort of fulfillment from a computer screen filled with web pages, emails, and instant messages.

Well, yes and no.

The Case for Yes, The Internet Offers Fulfillment
There are two things that really stand to further my happiness on the internet: learning new things and meeting new people. Let's take the former. I've learned some amazing things that I would have never known unless I lived at the library. Somehow - my mechanically dis-inclined nature was turned around by reading and researching various car repair/installs on the web. I can now fully take apart my car's suspension and put it back together at a different height within 3 hours.

I've learned how to shop for cars better on the internet. While buying our most recent cars - it was a matter of visiting http://www.carbuyingtips.com to get all the info I needed to buy a new car. I saved thousands and saved time - while being able to justify the new cars.

I've learned how people in different countries view us ugly Americans. Much as I thought, they think of us as backwards, pickup loving, NASCAR cheering, and DUBYA loving Southerners who worship isolationism as much as "The Dukes of Hazzard." Okay, they're partially right - I did love that General Lee driving duo of Bo and Luke Duke. Oh yeah, and don't forget Daisy Duke - she invented a whole new fashion industry out of cutoff jeans.

In addition, the internet has let meet new people whom I would never meet in my life.

Let's take for example a good friend of mine - Dawn. About a year and a half ago - I would have never known anyone outside of the residents in my program and Chi's friends. Partly becaues I just moved out from Minnesota, but also because there was no real good way to meet people. There were those who were friendly enough - but wanted less to do with me and more to do with me listening to them. I found that a year and a half ago most people didn't want to invest the extra time of getting past the "hello" and "how are you" to "what do you love to do" and "what interests you most." Heaven forbid. That would require actually hanging out with those people again - and you could never guarantee that your second investment of time in them would yield any common interest or hobby. It took me 3 "hang outs" with one guy to realize that he was a jerk and a staunch "I love white people so much I think we should all be albino" republican. What a waste of my time.

The internet does away with that. No more wasted "hang outs" or emails. You see, the internet has forums - places where people with similar interests congregate to discuss similar topics. Such topics can include, specific car makes, hi end audio, reality TV, etc. Furthermore, by their nature - you can have a discussion that doesn't require you to be present at all times. You can post a commment and come back to it hours or days later to see what other people feel about it - and not feel like you were rude to anyone in the process. That way, you can forgo the useless "hang outs" and find people who are more inclined to actually enjoy the same things as you! Furthermore, you can't "see" the other members - which removes the stigma of gender and race that can sometimes hinder friendships (it shouldn't in my ideological dreams, but it does in my crappy reality).

Oh, back to Dawn. Well, last September, I bought a new Audi A4. I soon got involved with an Audizine.com website and posted there frequently. In that same month, I went to an Audi meet - a gathering of Audi enthusiasts in the bay area to talk and admire each other's Audi's. I know, to most of the world - it sounds ridiculous and reeks of superficialism (if that's even a word). But in reality, the meets are a nice way to openly talk about your hobby, no matter how ridiculous, expensive, or gauche it is. At that first meet, I met Dawn and soon got to talking to her via instant messaging and the Audizine.com forum - I soon realized that she was a great person and a very positive one - someone that was very interested not only in her hobbies but in me as a person - which was and is still very rare.

All of this came to fruition last Friday - when I was in the Hospital visiting area while she was getting a laparoscopic cholecystectomy (gallbladder removal) for severe inflammation of her gallbladder. I'll cut to the chase (I'll blog about her surgery another time) but me being there and worrying about her outcome reminded me of how I would have never met a person like Dawn had I not "wasted my time" on the internet. How lucky I was to spend some online time in the Audi forums. Like a modern town hall - friendships can be made online.

Oh man, another long blog - I think I ramble too much. But I guess its like eating at McDonald's - you don't do it for awhile and all of a sudden it you have to do it big the one time you do do it so as to justify the existence of Mcdonald's (or my blog). That was a hell of a run-on sentence if I've ever seen one.