Boys Suck Part 1: Beggars Can't be Choosers
I was talking to my good friend Tammy, aka TCell aka TLish aka Tamdelicious aka TamFurious aka etc., and I asked her why she had yet to find a good man. Her answer was, very simply, "Boys suck!"
Now, I love being a guy. I'm a guy's guy. I love sports, I love action movies, I adhere to basic guy rules (for example - no two guys can enter the bathroom at the same time), and I don't shy away from appreciating good lookign women. I feel like I've earned a spot in the universally recognized, but often misunderstood, guys fraternity.
That clarification aside, I do have to say that I'm highly disappointed in some of the members of the guy fraternity. Talking to some good female friends of mine has made this fact as clear as Aquafina. In fact, some men do suck - and they suck harder than a broke Jenna Jameson (I think I've used that a time too many). Just within the past few months, I've seen more examples of physically normal but emotionally impotent men than can be attributed to coincidence. In the following series of blots, I'll demonstrate some acts of guy retardedness and I'll hopefully try to explain how it happens - although that is no way condoning male idiocy.
Parts 1-3 will refer to things that bother me about single guys my age. Part 4 will discuss why this came to be. Part 5-7 will refer to how guys can correct their problems to counter this seemingly decided fate.
Part One - Particular Guys
For one, some guys are so unrealistically particular, its painful. I can point out about 1000 women to a single guy and particular guys will find maybe 10 will fit their bill. Of those ten maybe's, only 2 actually seem to not annoy them. Of those 2, usually none satisfy their ridiculously high standards. Guys, there's only one Charlize Theron, only one Eva Longoria, only one Catherine Zeta-Jones, and only one Angelina Jolie. Even then, you can't guarantee that they'll have a matching personality.
Trying to understand it is hard, so lets look more deeply at the "particular" part of the unbalanced equation that is a man's emotion first. To illustrate the ridiculousness of this all - I'd like to setup a fairly unrealistic situation. Imagine that when a man hits 18, he is given all the money in the world. This represents a man's youthfulness and good looks. Imagine that his debt represents his personality baggage. Personality baggage being annoyances, obsessive habits, hygienic inconsistencies, or grooming irregularities that have accumulated throughout time. The baggage gets bigger with each year.
Now picture women as cars (no I'm not objectifying - I'm just trying to make up for the abstract limitations of my concrete and car crazy thoughts). The right car for each man is difficult to define. Some like big cars, some like small. Some like black, some like red. Some like big headlights, some like standout mufflers. There are all sorts of sizes and shapes and colors to choose from.
Most guys know that they only have a certain amount of money to spend, before the debt catches up with them and thus decreases the chance that they'll get a car they want. Lets just say that there are three cars - a Yugo, an Porsche 911, and a Ferrari Enzo. The Yugo is just not right - no match for anyone. The Porsche 911 fits the bill for many people - great looking, practical, well regarded and reliable. The Enzo is a wet dream - super sexy, super fast, but impractcal and highly expensive.
Most normal men at mid 20's choose the Porsche - understanding that there are some negative aspects of the car and that in a few years there maybe something with better features - but knowing that if they waited longer - they would lose their money (their looks and youthfullness) and gain debt (their emotional/personality baggage), and thus not be able to afford the same nice, perfect fit car later. They don't go for the Enzo because they know that its great eye candy, but its rare and there's also no guarantee it will work for long at all.
Unrealistically particular guys always think that there is something around the corner. So they wait. And they wait. They're in their mid to late 20s and they pass on the Porsche, thinking that if they hold out, they'll be lucky enough to get the Enzo. Pretty soon,they have no money (looks and youthfullness) and they have a TON of debt. Lo and behold - they can't even get the damn Porsche when they've realized that no matter what they do, that Enzo is out of reach. So now they have to go and try to scrounge up their wealth for a Yugo. And they should feel lucky they can get a Yugo in their 40s.
It works out the same way with women for these guys. They pass up the good stuff in the hopes that they can get better - without even realizing that they may not deserve it or that their may not even be any better. Their biggest mistake will never be accepting an opportunity and failing at it, their biggest mistake is not even giving that opportunity a chance at all.
To be continued....
Now, I love being a guy. I'm a guy's guy. I love sports, I love action movies, I adhere to basic guy rules (for example - no two guys can enter the bathroom at the same time), and I don't shy away from appreciating good lookign women. I feel like I've earned a spot in the universally recognized, but often misunderstood, guys fraternity.
That clarification aside, I do have to say that I'm highly disappointed in some of the members of the guy fraternity. Talking to some good female friends of mine has made this fact as clear as Aquafina. In fact, some men do suck - and they suck harder than a broke Jenna Jameson (I think I've used that a time too many). Just within the past few months, I've seen more examples of physically normal but emotionally impotent men than can be attributed to coincidence. In the following series of blots, I'll demonstrate some acts of guy retardedness and I'll hopefully try to explain how it happens - although that is no way condoning male idiocy.
Parts 1-3 will refer to things that bother me about single guys my age. Part 4 will discuss why this came to be. Part 5-7 will refer to how guys can correct their problems to counter this seemingly decided fate.
Part One - Particular Guys
For one, some guys are so unrealistically particular, its painful. I can point out about 1000 women to a single guy and particular guys will find maybe 10 will fit their bill. Of those ten maybe's, only 2 actually seem to not annoy them. Of those 2, usually none satisfy their ridiculously high standards. Guys, there's only one Charlize Theron, only one Eva Longoria, only one Catherine Zeta-Jones, and only one Angelina Jolie. Even then, you can't guarantee that they'll have a matching personality.
Trying to understand it is hard, so lets look more deeply at the "particular" part of the unbalanced equation that is a man's emotion first. To illustrate the ridiculousness of this all - I'd like to setup a fairly unrealistic situation. Imagine that when a man hits 18, he is given all the money in the world. This represents a man's youthfulness and good looks. Imagine that his debt represents his personality baggage. Personality baggage being annoyances, obsessive habits, hygienic inconsistencies, or grooming irregularities that have accumulated throughout time. The baggage gets bigger with each year.
Now picture women as cars (no I'm not objectifying - I'm just trying to make up for the abstract limitations of my concrete and car crazy thoughts). The right car for each man is difficult to define. Some like big cars, some like small. Some like black, some like red. Some like big headlights, some like standout mufflers. There are all sorts of sizes and shapes and colors to choose from.
Most guys know that they only have a certain amount of money to spend, before the debt catches up with them and thus decreases the chance that they'll get a car they want. Lets just say that there are three cars - a Yugo, an Porsche 911, and a Ferrari Enzo. The Yugo is just not right - no match for anyone. The Porsche 911 fits the bill for many people - great looking, practical, well regarded and reliable. The Enzo is a wet dream - super sexy, super fast, but impractcal and highly expensive.
Most normal men at mid 20's choose the Porsche - understanding that there are some negative aspects of the car and that in a few years there maybe something with better features - but knowing that if they waited longer - they would lose their money (their looks and youthfullness) and gain debt (their emotional/personality baggage), and thus not be able to afford the same nice, perfect fit car later. They don't go for the Enzo because they know that its great eye candy, but its rare and there's also no guarantee it will work for long at all.
Unrealistically particular guys always think that there is something around the corner. So they wait. And they wait. They're in their mid to late 20s and they pass on the Porsche, thinking that if they hold out, they'll be lucky enough to get the Enzo. Pretty soon,they have no money (looks and youthfullness) and they have a TON of debt. Lo and behold - they can't even get the damn Porsche when they've realized that no matter what they do, that Enzo is out of reach. So now they have to go and try to scrounge up their wealth for a Yugo. And they should feel lucky they can get a Yugo in their 40s.
It works out the same way with women for these guys. They pass up the good stuff in the hopes that they can get better - without even realizing that they may not deserve it or that their may not even be any better. Their biggest mistake will never be accepting an opportunity and failing at it, their biggest mistake is not even giving that opportunity a chance at all.
To be continued....
posted by Richard at 6:43 PM
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