Social Friendships
I can name my best friends on one hand.
Chi, Jimmy, Christo, Mark, and Terry.
Thats it. Those are my BEST friends. None of them are social friendships. Their friendship with me embodies the qualties I deem important in being a best friend: loyalty, trust, unselfishness, interest, common values, chemistry, and improvement.
They have and will do things that require the utmost generosity. They will never forget me. They make me feel like I'm the only one in the world when they talk to me. I never get the feeling that I'm just one of they're many friends they keep around to make them look like a social butterfly.
Of course, this is going somewhere.
I have a pet peeve. People who consider social friends true friends. They're not. Social friends are what they are - only friends when they want to be social. Inherently, its selfish. They place a high importance on going out with other friends - because they can have a good time. Lets say Joey and Bill are social friends. Joey wants to go drink and so he calls Bill. Joey is being partly selfish - he wants the friendship mainly to be social.
This is all social friends care about. They don't care about doing anything truly selfless. They don't care about making a sacrifice that requires more than money or even time. They hold in highest regards other social friends that simply want to be social. So where does that leave them in 50 years?
I don't mind social friends. I have some. I do mind when people make it sound like social friends are the only true friends. True friends see more in the friendship than just another person to hang out with. They will do anything to help the other true friend, even if it sacrifices their time, fun, finances, or even emotions. They will take days off if necessary to help their friend out - even if that help has no benefit for him/her.
I see it happening now. My social friends lauding the worthiness of their social friends while barely mentioning the things that their true friends have done for them. Its a slap in the face if you ask me.
Chi, Jimmy, Christo, Mark, and Terry.
Thats it. Those are my BEST friends. None of them are social friendships. Their friendship with me embodies the qualties I deem important in being a best friend: loyalty, trust, unselfishness, interest, common values, chemistry, and improvement.
They have and will do things that require the utmost generosity. They will never forget me. They make me feel like I'm the only one in the world when they talk to me. I never get the feeling that I'm just one of they're many friends they keep around to make them look like a social butterfly.
Of course, this is going somewhere.
I have a pet peeve. People who consider social friends true friends. They're not. Social friends are what they are - only friends when they want to be social. Inherently, its selfish. They place a high importance on going out with other friends - because they can have a good time. Lets say Joey and Bill are social friends. Joey wants to go drink and so he calls Bill. Joey is being partly selfish - he wants the friendship mainly to be social.
This is all social friends care about. They don't care about doing anything truly selfless. They don't care about making a sacrifice that requires more than money or even time. They hold in highest regards other social friends that simply want to be social. So where does that leave them in 50 years?
I don't mind social friends. I have some. I do mind when people make it sound like social friends are the only true friends. True friends see more in the friendship than just another person to hang out with. They will do anything to help the other true friend, even if it sacrifices their time, fun, finances, or even emotions. They will take days off if necessary to help their friend out - even if that help has no benefit for him/her.
I see it happening now. My social friends lauding the worthiness of their social friends while barely mentioning the things that their true friends have done for them. Its a slap in the face if you ask me.
posted by Richard at 1:18 PM
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