Lazy Friends
Laziness is a common theme these days. Hey, I'm pretty damn lazy too. But at least I've managed to learn that like all hedonistic things, there is a time and place to be lazy. Friendship is not one of them.
There are a few things in life that can stand the test of time. Things that remind you of how good it is to be a gravity bound complex bioform on a one in a million planet. Okay, that was a little out there. But still, there are things like (okay, try not to roll your eyes out of your sockets) unconditional love, euphoric sex, and/or enlightened art that you will remember for the rest of your life. A lazy friend is not one of them. But a dedicated, generous friendship is.
Lazy friends are the ones that put your friendship on hold. They are the ones that will somehow miss an opportunity to see you (having not seen you for awhile) for something less memorable (like washing their clothes). They are the ones who never call. You have to initiate all the time. They won't travel outside a 15 minute radius to see you. They can't even hold their focus on you for more than one minute. When you talk to a lazy friend, you always feel like they have something more important to do than talk to you. They lack focus.
They are the ones that think that occasional correspondence constitutes a good friendship.
I'm not saying that I haven't been lazy from time to time about being a good friend. I've had my moments, and my best of friends will attest to this. However, I don't do it at all times and I don't do it at key times. Key times being those instants where someone depends on you, someone has asked you to be there, someone basically is reaching out to you. That, to me, constitutes poor friendship ability.
Usually with good friends, you can tell them that they are lazy. But with new friends you have just met, you can't. You don't want to offend them. You don't want to seem desperate for their friendship. Of course you aren't, but they interest you as a friend and you want to invest something in it. Then, as so often happens these days, they disappoint you.
But its the good friends who are lazy beyond my first warning that bothers me the most.
So please. If you're a lazy friend of anyone's, be lazy on your own time. Be lazy with gardening. Be lazy washing your car (I know this seems hard for me to say, but I'm serious!). Be lazy washing the dishes. Don't be lazy with your friends, who will give you the support and love that no garden, car or dish can ever give.
There are a few things in life that can stand the test of time. Things that remind you of how good it is to be a gravity bound complex bioform on a one in a million planet. Okay, that was a little out there. But still, there are things like (okay, try not to roll your eyes out of your sockets) unconditional love, euphoric sex, and/or enlightened art that you will remember for the rest of your life. A lazy friend is not one of them. But a dedicated, generous friendship is.
Lazy friends are the ones that put your friendship on hold. They are the ones that will somehow miss an opportunity to see you (having not seen you for awhile) for something less memorable (like washing their clothes). They are the ones who never call. You have to initiate all the time. They won't travel outside a 15 minute radius to see you. They can't even hold their focus on you for more than one minute. When you talk to a lazy friend, you always feel like they have something more important to do than talk to you. They lack focus.
They are the ones that think that occasional correspondence constitutes a good friendship.
I'm not saying that I haven't been lazy from time to time about being a good friend. I've had my moments, and my best of friends will attest to this. However, I don't do it at all times and I don't do it at key times. Key times being those instants where someone depends on you, someone has asked you to be there, someone basically is reaching out to you. That, to me, constitutes poor friendship ability.
Usually with good friends, you can tell them that they are lazy. But with new friends you have just met, you can't. You don't want to offend them. You don't want to seem desperate for their friendship. Of course you aren't, but they interest you as a friend and you want to invest something in it. Then, as so often happens these days, they disappoint you.
But its the good friends who are lazy beyond my first warning that bothers me the most.
So please. If you're a lazy friend of anyone's, be lazy on your own time. Be lazy with gardening. Be lazy washing your car (I know this seems hard for me to say, but I'm serious!). Be lazy washing the dishes. Don't be lazy with your friends, who will give you the support and love that no garden, car or dish can ever give.
posted by Richard at 3:47 PM
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