Moocherism.

Wierd title, ain't it?

To a degree, we all try to take advantage of each other. I may have some skill/asset that may interest the other party. They, in turn, may have some skill/asset that may be useful to me. To a moderate degree, I ask them to "give me the hook-up" so that I may reap the benefits of their abilities. At the same time, I am more than happy to return the favor.

As with almost all bad things, the problem occurs when one person abuses this informal agreement (1) too frequently, (2) too one-sidedly, or (3) too intently. This is moocherism. The first two subsets of moocherism is easy to recognize. The friend that constantly asks you for a ride to work. The sister that keeps on calling you about buying her some Best Buy products because you work at Best Buy - every week. The acquaintance who calls you every other day about health issues, when they know its best they go see a doctor. And that crazy cousin (everyone has one) that tries to hit you up for some viagra prescriptions every fucking month.

That would be fine, if you got something in return at least sometimes. However, when its one-sided, moocherism is also in full effect. You know what I mean. Its those times when your friends eat out of your fridge, sleep at your house, get a ride all over the place, but never ever return the favor. When you ask them to help you out, you get the long suffering sigh followed by the "well, I could do it, but it would be a little hard for me to do so." And using my bathroom is a piece of cake for me? Remember, I get to clean that toilet every week.

Finally, an interesting form of moocherism is the one where the moocher doesn't even attempt to take interest in you before mooching. They don't even at least fake friendship. They just have one sole purpose, to mooch off of you. When you hear their voice, you shudder. You know that after the requisite, unsincere greeting, the next question is, "Hey man, can you do me a favor?" Or even better, "I heard that you can get _______ for cheap." They only talk to you when they need something. You become their tool. It may not even be for a service or a good even. It may just be for your knowledge. They keep asking you questions about something you know well, but don't care for knowing you well. This, to me, is the most annoying. No benefit of friendship even to at least buffer the dull annoyance of being mooched off of. At least FAKE IT.

Moocherism can also hide behind the pretense of sympathy. I think that its all good and fine to help people out when they have a bad break. However, when they start to abuse your good will or, even worse, feel entitled to it, that's when you get mad. Life sucks. There are bad breaks for everyone. But I cannot possibly bail out every single person I know multiple times. I can maybe do it once. But more than that will bring me down too. I'm not trying to be Republican, I'm just being honest. Have some pride. Instead of practicing moocherism behind the Trojan horse of sympathy, pull yourself up from your own bootstraps like some of us have.

Oh well, that's my opinion for today. I like being able to say what I want when nobody reads my blog!

Terrorists: extreme examples of bullies.

So I was reading the article on CNN.com about the terrorists killing a South Korean in Iraq. As I read further, my anger grew and I thought, "Now that it has happened to non-Americans, maybe citizens in other countries understand why the fight against terrorism and Iraqi insurgents is vitally important."

I was wrong.

Turns out, instead of a demonstration asking for the terrorists to spare the Korean captive's life, what I saw was South Koreans demonstrating to keep the government from sending more troops to Iraq. This is exactly what the terrorists want. These cowardly, pathetic excuses for human beings love that kind of stuff. Kill somebody to get what we want. Does that seem fair or even morally correct to anyone?

Instead of reviling that type of behavior, these protesters condone it.

Instead of decrying that type of cowardice, these protesters reward it.

Which brings me to elementary school social dynamics, the ultimate microchasm of societal imbalance. If I recall, bullies did the same thing. "Give me your lunch money, or I'll beat the shit out of you kid!" Most of the time, it worked. Wierd thing was, as a youngin', I nearly got beat up over my pencils (yes, sometimes the battle between good versus evil revolves around writing utensils) because I refused to give them up, and in the process, made a huge stink about it. Before I was about to take on 2 thugs by myself, the Principal came to the rescue. So what did some of my classmates say to me?

Some said this:
"Good job! Thanks for standing up to them."
"Really glad they got in trouble for it finally."
"Thanks for letting them now its not okay."

What perturbed me most was this response:
"That was dumb. You could have gotten hurt. Just give in to them, its easier that way."

I had no respect for those people.

Similarly, I have no respect for those protesters in South Korea. Don't pussy out. Don't make it seem like its okay to get away with ridiculousness like al Quaeda does.

Don't be pretentious about being a chicken by protesting for a surrender to terrorists.

It reminds me of Andy from the movie "The Shawshank Redemption." The sisters persist in trying to rape Andy while he is in prison. Somedays they succeed, somedays they don't. But he fights them everytime, refusing to give in to their demands, on principle alone - despite the physical and emotional wounds it brings him.

Fighting terrorists seems a similar Sisyphian task, but it must be done on principle alone - to discourage the notion that violence and intimidation will ultimately succeed.

I leave this blog with this final thought. In the confines of the school, the regulation of bullies was left to the hands of teachers. Who regulates the extreme bullies we call terrorists today?

Mediocrity is king.

This may come off as horribly snobbish. I'm not apologizing.


I've decided that the world used to be run by people of extraordinary mindset. Those who pushed the boundaries to find the better life and to discover the true nature of things. They aspired to greatness, not to social acceptance. They pushed for the betterment of society through an inquisitive and, often, forceful nature. To stand idly by and drink beer with friends was not their lot in life.

These days, it appears that being socially accepted takes credence over greatness. In the era of government (and now corporations) run and decided by the general populace, popularity determines the societal focus and vision. Intelligence, brilliance, excellence, and altruism are not judged or applauded through the eyes of likeminded individuals. Rather, we have the general populace to determine that. Your average highschool dropout, your barhopping slut, and your recently released rapist now determine who is great.

It's like a whole bunch of burger king cooks critiquing a five star restaurant's head chef.

Which brings me to the word "mediocre."

Most of the population is mediocre. They wallow in it. I'm not being mean. The word medicore means, "of middle quality." Which means that being the bell curve that we are, most people fall in the mediocre range.

The problem is that as a society, we tend to elevate mediocre people to some sort of pedestal when one aspect of their life garners some sort of accomplishment, earned or not. "Wow, he can dunk the ball so beautifully!" "Wow, she is so pretty!" Examples abound of how society and mediocre people elevate themselves into the pantheon of excellence based on one personality abnormality.

It makes absurd the concept of greatness.

But democracy and capitalism has made it easy for this to happen. Self congratulation is the force behind William Hung. Mediocrity likes to make itself look good. In the a society where the popular vote is the driving force behind policy, mediocrity gets the say. Those who are smart and, most importantly, inquisitive without pragmatism must resort to appealing to mediocrity. Where individuals of great merit in their every aspect of life used to be revered, they are now pushed to the borders of the state of Mediocrity.

Like my titles says, mediocrity is king. And I hate being its subject.

Just when I thought things were looking fair in life...

This morning was great. Well, at least the first 3 hours of it. I woke up (apparently a little grumpy per Chi) and immediately greeted a bowl of Cocoa Puffs. Even better, I was watching the ESPN recap of the amazingly dominant Detroit Pistons win. I was happy.

I was thinking to myself that fairness was becoming vogue again. The Detroit Pistons, described best as a team (not a collection) of less known players beat out the smug and arrogant collection of stars called the LA Lakers. Why? Because they played basketball "the right way," with a cohesiveness, positivity, respect, and hustle not seen very often in this era of the star-centric sports (save the Patriots). They loved playing with each other. The Lakers just wanted to get it over with.

Furthermore, I felt that this loss might finally humble the spoiled (and very smug) LA fans who think that being an LA fan means being entitled to a title each year. One of my best friends, Terry, is a Laker fan. However, unlike most LA fans, he actually is humble and seems to realize that sometimes the Lakers are not as good as the other team. Most LA fans, on the other hand, seem to think that when the Lakers lose, its cause the officials blew the game or because the Lakers didn't try that night. They can never concede that the other team was better.

So when the Pistons won, I was happy.

So happy, in fact, I went out and got some Beef Chow Fun. For those that don't know, BCF is comfort food for me. I eat it when I'm happy. It just sounds happy. Say it - BEEF CHOW FUN. How can you not be happy?

Anyways, while eating my happy food, I came across a story on sfgate.com. Apparently a tow truck worker was working overtime to make some extra cash to help pay for his upcoming honeymoon. He was getting married this weekend. His family was in town and he was already wearing the wedding band. By all accounts, he was in love with his fiancee.

Nearing the end of his overtime shift, the tow truck worker was rigging a car in Oakland. Out of nowhere another man came up and, without any explanation (that has been discovered), murdered him.

How is this fair?

Instead of planning and enjoying a wedding, his family will be planning his funeral and attending his funeral this weekend.

Fairness is fleeting it seems. Religion bases its principles on convincing its followers that there is a fairness in the end. Whether it be a deserved heaven or a karma-driven nirvana, there is fairness. And for the most part, I've agreed. But cynicism gets the best of me more often with my age, and I am starting to believe that life is inherently unfair.

Those that do well are not those that espouse and practice fairness. Those that thrive are the ones who deal with unfairness most practically for their own benefit.

To me, that in itself seems unfair.

Man have I gotten old.

"Biggie biggie biggie, can't you see?
Sometimes your words just hypnotize me.
And I just love your flashy ways,
Guess that's why they're broke
And your so paid."

There is one huge benefit to working in a research lab. For the most part, I can listen to anything I want. I can blast Biggie, play some Mozart, and spin some Paul van Dyk anytime I want to. Rediscovering some of my favorite songs in lab has been a great benefit of research!

So this past weekend, I went to Best Buy to pick up some CD's I had been meaning to add to my collection for awhile. For some reason, I had never bought this album, although I loved the songs on it. And yes, I buy my music in CD form. I like to see the CD cover, read the liners, and see a disc spinning. Call me old fashioned. Go ahead, I dare you.

Anyways, if you haven't figured it out yet, I bought "Life After Death" by the Notorious B.I.G. The words above are the chorus from that album's first (and very successful single) "Hypnotize." Today, I started spinning the disc in the lab. The first few bass notes brought me immediately back to 1997, Senior year at the University of Minnesota - when everything was so so good. I closed my eyes for a few moments, remembering one of the best times of my life. I was headed to medical school, I had great friends, I was leaving my house for good, and I was in love with my wife (yes I was in love with her before I even dated her). I swear it was only a few years ago!

"Who sings that?!"

(PUFF POP PUFF - I'm trying to illustrate in words the bubble above my head and closed eyes that conatined my daydream)

"What'd you say?"
"Man, who's that? Sounds like a pretty good song!" Exlaimed the exubarant, smart but very 18 year old Andrew (doing some research in the lab).
"DUDE!!! It's a classic! How do you not know?"

And with that opening volley, I embarked in an hour long musical diatribe, covering Dr Dre, Clearance Clearwater Revival, Mozart, Tiesto, and Guns N Roses. Of course, Andrew was introduced into the teen pop boom of the late 90s and early 2000's, which means that anything with edge causes him to shudder somewhat. But that's okay, he'll learn.

It's hard to explain how wierd this seems, but to put it in perspective, Andrew was 10 and in 5th grade when I was an exuberant collegiate Senior.

TEN

I can't get over it. How did life pass me by so quickly? I mean, i'm definitely lucky to have gotten where I am, but it seems so close - those lazy spring/summer days of doing whatever I pleased (within monetary reason of course). So many good memories: those days playing basketball until the neighbors complained; collegiate women walking on campus with little on (due to heat of course); listening to music as much as I wanted; travelling to various cities in the US to interview for med school; and knowing that my adult life was about to formally start.

But have I became an adult?

True, I am responsible for lives in my line of work. But does my yearning to return to younger simplicity imply my lack of maturity or the development of maturity? How can I retain naive exuberance in the face of overpowering, attrition-style cynicism? Most importantly, does growing up necessarily equate to the loss of the kid inside?

In the end, I don't think so, I think the kid is still there, just to remind me how wonderful it all was, is, and can be.

Lazy Friends

Laziness is a common theme these days. Hey, I'm pretty damn lazy too. But at least I've managed to learn that like all hedonistic things, there is a time and place to be lazy. Friendship is not one of them.

There are a few things in life that can stand the test of time. Things that remind you of how good it is to be a gravity bound complex bioform on a one in a million planet. Okay, that was a little out there. But still, there are things like (okay, try not to roll your eyes out of your sockets) unconditional love, euphoric sex, and/or enlightened art that you will remember for the rest of your life. A lazy friend is not one of them. But a dedicated, generous friendship is.

Lazy friends are the ones that put your friendship on hold. They are the ones that will somehow miss an opportunity to see you (having not seen you for awhile) for something less memorable (like washing their clothes). They are the ones who never call. You have to initiate all the time. They won't travel outside a 15 minute radius to see you. They can't even hold their focus on you for more than one minute. When you talk to a lazy friend, you always feel like they have something more important to do than talk to you. They lack focus.

They are the ones that think that occasional correspondence constitutes a good friendship.

I'm not saying that I haven't been lazy from time to time about being a good friend. I've had my moments, and my best of friends will attest to this. However, I don't do it at all times and I don't do it at key times. Key times being those instants where someone depends on you, someone has asked you to be there, someone basically is reaching out to you. That, to me, constitutes poor friendship ability.

Usually with good friends, you can tell them that they are lazy. But with new friends you have just met, you can't. You don't want to offend them. You don't want to seem desperate for their friendship. Of course you aren't, but they interest you as a friend and you want to invest something in it. Then, as so often happens these days, they disappoint you.

But its the good friends who are lazy beyond my first warning that bothers me the most.

So please. If you're a lazy friend of anyone's, be lazy on your own time. Be lazy with gardening. Be lazy washing your car (I know this seems hard for me to say, but I'm serious!). Be lazy washing the dishes. Don't be lazy with your friends, who will give you the support and love that no garden, car or dish can ever give.

Time to start ranting again.

I've noticed something. My blog has been empty the last month and a half. Empty because I haven't posted, but also empty because no one reads it anymore. I think that this is due to two main reasons. One, I stopped my rants. Two, I started posting about cars. Now, I figure that people read blogs because ranting is popular these days. When one person rants, its easy to join in. Its nice to know that your fellow human being is vociferously opposed to stupidity. Whining and complaining is a lot more fun to most than actually being positive. As cynical as it sounds, I tend to think that blaming others and shirking responsibility brings us closer together than the almighty love.

What?! No way you say. How dare you imply that negativity can reign and somehow unify us. Its true though. Do you think that love will get you better cable service? Do you think love will overcome your boss' unreasonable blubbering?

I think that the commonality of ranting derives from the laziness of our fellow citizen's minds. Its so much easier to let your brain conjure up a million reasons as to why your day is going bad. Try to come up with 5 reasons why you love life. It takes effort doesn't it? You can name a million reasons why your significant other annoys you, but when they ask you why you love them... you have to stop and think. Why?!!!

The thing is, 99% of people are lazy. Western Civilization's change (I avoid the use of advancement or success - it is neither the way I see it) has made it easy to be that way. Television, cheesy music, synthetic leather, potpourri, climate control, and Taco Bell have made it easy for us to deluge our five senses without actually having to work at it. This was fine before, but now we're lazy in thought.

So how will I ameliorate this problem? How will I revolutionize the collective psyche to stop ranting and start thinking? I'll start with this rant I guess. Oh well, sometimes my hypocrisy knows no bounds.