My Dog Chip
Today is a prolific one for me. I'll be awarding the internet with two, count 'em, two blogs! Hooray! Okay, maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better as I've had a bad case of writer's block for the holiday season.
My first blog is about my dog Chip. Why would I blog about a furry dropkick dog you say? Well, it's partly because it's my way of curing my writer's block and partly because he keeps sitting next to me paw-licking. More on that later. Importantly, he's also an integral part of the DSC. More on that later too.
Chip is a white-brown Lhasa Apso. Lhasa's were bred in Tibet to be a watchdog for the monks. I guess Tibetan people were afraid of these ferocious 15 pound furry as all hell dogs? I don't see it. I can attest to the fact that Chip still has his super acute watchdog hearing. He barks to people passing wind down the block. Don't let that fool you into thinking he will protect you though. Faced with a challenge from a bigger dog, Chip tends to bark from behind my legs. Watchdog, yes. Guarddog, no.
I should say that Chip was white-brown. He's now on the verge of his 8th Julian calendar year birthday and in dog years that's damn near 56. So he has lost much of his brown spots that made him "diverse." I guess dogs get gray hairs too. Chip was brought home one day by my sister as a puppy. Afraid of everything, he'd hide under the coffee table most of the time, until we enticed him out by letting him play with my brother in law's white sock. Let me clarify. My sister let him play with it. I was disgusted by it. Of course, because of that, he rips up anything white he comes across, particularly tissue. That's where he expresses his "Dances with Wolves" ferocity, by ripping up Kleenex.
Chip was the love of my sister's life, up until my nephew came around. My nephew was allergic to dogs and cats, so Chip was kept in the dark basement for his 2 years before he came out to California. This may sound controversial, but if were up to me, I would have kept Chip and gave that spoiled nephew up for adoption. Hey, I just call it like I see it. Anyways, given that Chip was getting no love, Chi, er, Evil Puppetmaster and I took it upon ourselves to adopt Chip. In fact, EP herself wanted to call the Humane Society on my sister. But for the honor of my family name, I restrained her from pressing talk on her cellphone.
Since Chip has been out here, he has lived the good dog life. He sleeps wherever he wants (we feel guilty for his time in the prison that was my sister's basement), he gets plenty of doggie treats, and he gets tons of ear rubs and belly rubs. I'm envious, except for the ear rub part. Furthermore, he gets love from anybody who comes through the door, so he's getting more social. This was difficult for him in the past, as he was always locked away in my sister's dungeon, I mean basement.
Chip has plenty of quirks. In fact, he's got more personality than most humans.
1. He has a penchant for playing catch by himself. One night, while I was trying to sleep on my sister's couch, I heard him running up and down the stairs. Turning on the light, I saw that he would bring his ball up to the top of the stairs, kick it down, and run after it. Funny as all hell.
2. He is addicted to paw-licking like an adolescent teen to masturbating. This is his favorite pastime. If there is no treat to be had, no walk to be taken, no game of catch to play, he will sit there and lick his paws endlessly. Not sure why, but he does it day and night.
3. He loves sleeping in the "four paw" position. That is, he sleeps on his back with four paws straight up in the air.
4. He doesn't do one trick at a time. He does them in a "macro" fashion. Show him a treat and he'll do the high five, handshake, play dead, and rollover all in one. He can't separate them.
5. He likes licking the bareskin on people's legs. Again, not sure why, but if you're wearing shorts in our house, be prepared for a drive by Chip licking.
6. He has doggie dreams and snores horribly. I still snore more than he, but his snoring is still pretty bad for a 15 pound dog. He has his share of dreams where he is growling, running, and licking all at the same time with his eyes closed.
7. He falls asleep with his head in the air. Of course, each time his head falls down and hits the ground and he wakes up.
8. He's as uncoordinated as Chi. I can't even count the number of times he's mistimed his jump and ended up jumping right into the side of the couch or bed (Chip not Chi, although it would be funny to see Chi mistime a jump into the side of the couch). I even saw him run straight into a closet door fullspeed.
9. He has his own doggie. He has a stuffed dalmation that is 1/4 of his size that he sleeps with and sometimes (in a violent way) plays catch with. In fact, he responds to "Where's your doggie Chip?" Wierd.
10. He has no sense of the difference between bare floor and carpet. Throw a bone while he is standing on our bare floor and he'll go nowhere for about five seconds. All you hear is his paws spinning as it tries to grab traction. He's also been known to misjudge turns on bare floor and slide right into the wall, or fridge.
That's probably more than anyone wants to know about my dog Chip. But I love him, so he gets time on my blog. Most people that meet him love him too. Which brings me to the DSC. How can I tie in a dog with a bunch of inebriated single people? Well, it seems that the DSC has a habit of trying to suffocate our dog after a night of drinking. Something about a fluffy, furry dog makes him attractive to them. Then again, this explains a lot about the people they try to hook up with on those drunkenfests. Luckily, Chip has developed an amazing ability to know when people are drunk, and avoid them.
Well, that's my first blog. I guess I just realized I need to go watch a movie, so the second one will have to wait until tomorrow. Somehow I wrote more than I planned to. Not uncommon for me I guess.
My first blog is about my dog Chip. Why would I blog about a furry dropkick dog you say? Well, it's partly because it's my way of curing my writer's block and partly because he keeps sitting next to me paw-licking. More on that later. Importantly, he's also an integral part of the DSC. More on that later too.
Chip is a white-brown Lhasa Apso. Lhasa's were bred in Tibet to be a watchdog for the monks. I guess Tibetan people were afraid of these ferocious 15 pound furry as all hell dogs? I don't see it. I can attest to the fact that Chip still has his super acute watchdog hearing. He barks to people passing wind down the block. Don't let that fool you into thinking he will protect you though. Faced with a challenge from a bigger dog, Chip tends to bark from behind my legs. Watchdog, yes. Guarddog, no.
I should say that Chip was white-brown. He's now on the verge of his 8th Julian calendar year birthday and in dog years that's damn near 56. So he has lost much of his brown spots that made him "diverse." I guess dogs get gray hairs too. Chip was brought home one day by my sister as a puppy. Afraid of everything, he'd hide under the coffee table most of the time, until we enticed him out by letting him play with my brother in law's white sock. Let me clarify. My sister let him play with it. I was disgusted by it. Of course, because of that, he rips up anything white he comes across, particularly tissue. That's where he expresses his "Dances with Wolves" ferocity, by ripping up Kleenex.
Chip was the love of my sister's life, up until my nephew came around. My nephew was allergic to dogs and cats, so Chip was kept in the dark basement for his 2 years before he came out to California. This may sound controversial, but if were up to me, I would have kept Chip and gave that spoiled nephew up for adoption. Hey, I just call it like I see it. Anyways, given that Chip was getting no love, Chi, er, Evil Puppetmaster and I took it upon ourselves to adopt Chip. In fact, EP herself wanted to call the Humane Society on my sister. But for the honor of my family name, I restrained her from pressing talk on her cellphone.
Since Chip has been out here, he has lived the good dog life. He sleeps wherever he wants (we feel guilty for his time in the prison that was my sister's basement), he gets plenty of doggie treats, and he gets tons of ear rubs and belly rubs. I'm envious, except for the ear rub part. Furthermore, he gets love from anybody who comes through the door, so he's getting more social. This was difficult for him in the past, as he was always locked away in my sister's dungeon, I mean basement.
Chip has plenty of quirks. In fact, he's got more personality than most humans.
1. He has a penchant for playing catch by himself. One night, while I was trying to sleep on my sister's couch, I heard him running up and down the stairs. Turning on the light, I saw that he would bring his ball up to the top of the stairs, kick it down, and run after it. Funny as all hell.
2. He is addicted to paw-licking like an adolescent teen to masturbating. This is his favorite pastime. If there is no treat to be had, no walk to be taken, no game of catch to play, he will sit there and lick his paws endlessly. Not sure why, but he does it day and night.
3. He loves sleeping in the "four paw" position. That is, he sleeps on his back with four paws straight up in the air.
4. He doesn't do one trick at a time. He does them in a "macro" fashion. Show him a treat and he'll do the high five, handshake, play dead, and rollover all in one. He can't separate them.
5. He likes licking the bareskin on people's legs. Again, not sure why, but if you're wearing shorts in our house, be prepared for a drive by Chip licking.
6. He has doggie dreams and snores horribly. I still snore more than he, but his snoring is still pretty bad for a 15 pound dog. He has his share of dreams where he is growling, running, and licking all at the same time with his eyes closed.
7. He falls asleep with his head in the air. Of course, each time his head falls down and hits the ground and he wakes up.
8. He's as uncoordinated as Chi. I can't even count the number of times he's mistimed his jump and ended up jumping right into the side of the couch or bed (Chip not Chi, although it would be funny to see Chi mistime a jump into the side of the couch). I even saw him run straight into a closet door fullspeed.
9. He has his own doggie. He has a stuffed dalmation that is 1/4 of his size that he sleeps with and sometimes (in a violent way) plays catch with. In fact, he responds to "Where's your doggie Chip?" Wierd.
10. He has no sense of the difference between bare floor and carpet. Throw a bone while he is standing on our bare floor and he'll go nowhere for about five seconds. All you hear is his paws spinning as it tries to grab traction. He's also been known to misjudge turns on bare floor and slide right into the wall, or fridge.
That's probably more than anyone wants to know about my dog Chip. But I love him, so he gets time on my blog. Most people that meet him love him too. Which brings me to the DSC. How can I tie in a dog with a bunch of inebriated single people? Well, it seems that the DSC has a habit of trying to suffocate our dog after a night of drinking. Something about a fluffy, furry dog makes him attractive to them. Then again, this explains a lot about the people they try to hook up with on those drunkenfests. Luckily, Chip has developed an amazing ability to know when people are drunk, and avoid them.
Well, that's my first blog. I guess I just realized I need to go watch a movie, so the second one will have to wait until tomorrow. Somehow I wrote more than I planned to. Not uncommon for me I guess.
posted by Richard at 9:17 PM
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