Terry's night of debauchery...er... I mean Terry's Birthday

Well, I can only confess to know most of what happened. My guest blogger (Chi) will fill you in on what really happened. My account of what happened starts out accurately, but then becomes an alcohol induced haze near the end. All I can say is, prepare yourself if you expected naive banter and saintly behavior. I can only hope that Minna (Terry's visiting friend) comes away remembering the first part of the evening. We're sorry Minna about the second part (he had it coming).

I can honestly divide the night into two parts. Part I can be appropriately labeled Terry's Birthday Party. Generosity, caring, good food, light alcohol, and good cheers were had by all. Chi and I (okay, Chi mostly) prepared a traditional Vietnamese buttered-beef fondue dinner to be enjoyed by all. Chi decorated our place with a Hello Kitty theme, since we all know how Terry loves Hello Kitty. I told him to buy a pink Audi and put a Hello Kitty decal on! Girls love that! Throughout it all, Terry was pretty happy. His most excited moment, though, was discovering that the Hello Kitty cookies we bought him were individually wrapped! What sophistication!

If the night had ended there, we would have been happy. Terry would have been validated in Minna's eyes. More of our beef fondue would have been consumed. Most importantly, I wouldn't have been sick two days afterwards. But, alas, the night was meant to disintegrate into a morass of alcohol consuming, breast revealing, nipple tweaking, alley kissing, and porcelain god praying memories.

So begins Part II: Terry's (and friends) night of debauchery. Now, Terry set himself up for failure the minute he walked out the door as we headed to Palo Alto's F&A's. Instead of his usual braggadocio, he tried to play the pussy card, and said "Hey man, Minna and I have to go home early... so I might not drink so much." What?! To which Christine replied, "No way Terry! I'm gonna get you f**ked up!" See Terry, if you had displayed your normal pseudo-machismo, you may have gotten off the hook. But you challenged us! I think Terry had the last laugh though.

At F&A's bar, we had planned to go slow. Somehow that plan disintegrated and soon we were popping hard liquor shots every 15 minutes. From there on out, it became a blur. Some highlights are as follows. Terry hit on married women. He got a woman to flash her breasts in exchange for his beads. Terry called his friend Bae to tell him how f**ked up he was getting. Married women kept following him (constant theme throughout the night). Christine and Vicky did some dirrrrty dancing with some new friends. Now, that was about it for me. I'll leave the rest to my wife (she was the only sober one and she has a sharp memory).

At that point, all the hard liquor hit me, and my very tolerant wife took me home and straight to the porcelain god. I think I died in there that night. Or at least I wished I did. I was still hungover Sunday, that's how bad it was. I also woke up to see that quite a few of the entourage had stayed at our place.. too sick to drive home. Our neighbors must think we're in college or something.

All in all, we had a good time. The pictures tell a sordid tale, that I don't necessarily remember. Rather than blog about rumors and hearsay, I'll leave it up to the drunk people enforcer (Chi) to tell the true anecdotes of debauchery. Right now, all I can think is: when will this headache go away?!