Degrees of Hotness
This should be short. Well, at least that's my intention. Seems like I get longwinded with every topic I bring up. Maybe its just the way I think, because I don't really talk a lot.
Anyways, my friend Terry had a good story to tell one night about some hot women he was with. I had to stop his storytelling midway to clarify a point he made. I asked, "How hot?" Little did I know, but he says there are subcategories of hotness... or degrees of hotness.
Before I continue on, I should say something about superficiality. Now, I know that personality is an important aspect of a person's whole being. Describing someone as beautiful implies not only a high level of physical attractiveness, but it also suggests a compatible personality and a unique relationship history that adds to the appealing visage and familiar curves. But we are talking about degrees of hotness here, more useful in the clubs, bars, or Audi meets. Plus, we'll talk about personality another time. So here goes:
1) Virgin Hot- hard to define, but you know it when you see it. But I'll take a stab at it. The Virgin Hot woman has a sense of naive honesty that defies the cynicism around her. Her dress and figure are more tasteful, allowing the imagination to develop what's underneath. Not quite hard to get, but looks like she is very selective. She is the one guys want to take home to mom... and his friends.. well, to everyone.
2) Business Hot- easy to define. The Business Hot woman looks incredibly sexy in her work attire. The clothes themselves may be extremely conservative, but often they are tailored and fit the woman well. Imagination plays a part here, but it is this type of woman that most men are curious about. How is she at the club? How is she at home? How is she in bed?
3) Porno Hot- very easy to define. The Porno Hot woman looks, well, like she should be doing pornos. Clothing is present, but not necessarily required and little is left to the imagination. Big breasts and big buttocks are important, but not a requisite. The smile is noticed last. She is the one that every guy wants to go home with for a few nights, but not longer.
4) F**kin' Hot- hard to define. The F**kin' hot woman is actually the one that the guy is dating at the time. The characterization of hotness is entirely dependent on the man. Instead of physical attributes that correlate to a certain degree of hotness, F**kin' hot really is the whole package, tailored to the likes or dislikes of the man. To best describe it, I'll leave it to a description by Terry (the most romantic thing he has ever said I believe): "The f**kin' hot girl is the one that when you're on a date, and she leaves to go to the bathroom, on the way back when you see her, but before you say anything to her, you realize that she's F**kin' hot and she happens to be with you." Sorry for the string of grammatical errors. It's okay, he's from MIT.
So there you have it. Degrees of hotness. I'm sure there are plenty more, but my brain just pooped out and I can't remember. I think its on account of the fact that Healthy Choice is only healthy because there's none of it. "Lemon Herb Chicken with vegetables and cherry dessert" sure sounds good, but it taste like leftover school cafeteria food. Just more salty. I have to stop writing when I'm hungry.
Anyways, my friend Terry had a good story to tell one night about some hot women he was with. I had to stop his storytelling midway to clarify a point he made. I asked, "How hot?" Little did I know, but he says there are subcategories of hotness... or degrees of hotness.
Before I continue on, I should say something about superficiality. Now, I know that personality is an important aspect of a person's whole being. Describing someone as beautiful implies not only a high level of physical attractiveness, but it also suggests a compatible personality and a unique relationship history that adds to the appealing visage and familiar curves. But we are talking about degrees of hotness here, more useful in the clubs, bars, or Audi meets. Plus, we'll talk about personality another time. So here goes:
1) Virgin Hot- hard to define, but you know it when you see it. But I'll take a stab at it. The Virgin Hot woman has a sense of naive honesty that defies the cynicism around her. Her dress and figure are more tasteful, allowing the imagination to develop what's underneath. Not quite hard to get, but looks like she is very selective. She is the one guys want to take home to mom... and his friends.. well, to everyone.
2) Business Hot- easy to define. The Business Hot woman looks incredibly sexy in her work attire. The clothes themselves may be extremely conservative, but often they are tailored and fit the woman well. Imagination plays a part here, but it is this type of woman that most men are curious about. How is she at the club? How is she at home? How is she in bed?
3) Porno Hot- very easy to define. The Porno Hot woman looks, well, like she should be doing pornos. Clothing is present, but not necessarily required and little is left to the imagination. Big breasts and big buttocks are important, but not a requisite. The smile is noticed last. She is the one that every guy wants to go home with for a few nights, but not longer.
4) F**kin' Hot- hard to define. The F**kin' hot woman is actually the one that the guy is dating at the time. The characterization of hotness is entirely dependent on the man. Instead of physical attributes that correlate to a certain degree of hotness, F**kin' hot really is the whole package, tailored to the likes or dislikes of the man. To best describe it, I'll leave it to a description by Terry (the most romantic thing he has ever said I believe): "The f**kin' hot girl is the one that when you're on a date, and she leaves to go to the bathroom, on the way back when you see her, but before you say anything to her, you realize that she's F**kin' hot and she happens to be with you." Sorry for the string of grammatical errors. It's okay, he's from MIT.
So there you have it. Degrees of hotness. I'm sure there are plenty more, but my brain just pooped out and I can't remember. I think its on account of the fact that Healthy Choice is only healthy because there's none of it. "Lemon Herb Chicken with vegetables and cherry dessert" sure sounds good, but it taste like leftover school cafeteria food. Just more salty. I have to stop writing when I'm hungry.
posted by Richard at 5:31 PM
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